A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

child labor

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

I don't believe in giraffes.

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...