A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

What hurts like hell? HELL

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

Tony Romo

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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