What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops