What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops