Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops