Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has two legs? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops