What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A guy was beet by his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

thumb_up thumb_down +32

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops