What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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