Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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