Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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no

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops