- Anti Joke

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)