A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Asian women drivers...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops