What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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