Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

What stops a train? A missile

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

What hurts like hell? HELL

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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