Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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Where's my baby??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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