Please don't shoot me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know whats funny? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops