How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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