- Anti Joke

One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

PS: YOU FUCKING PATHETIC ASSHOLES! DIE IN PAIN GUILT AND SHAME! YOU AND ALL OF THOSE THAT MOCKED ME FOR WANTING TO CREATE WHAT HAS FINALLY BEEN CREATED! (Special thanks to those that gave me a thousand thumbs down and such, I mean at first it was kinda degrading but fun since I posted bullshit on purpose, back when I returned from time to time to see if I had any thumbs ups, then I began enjoying red thumbs as I began expressing my dreams and gathering one follower for every human being that would mock me... ...Today? Today I type whatever the fuck I want, and could not care less for what you fucking humans think about me) Moral: I am superior to you all, and if you disagree with my opinion, you can at least respect it, I on the other hand, have no reason to respect your opinion... YOUR INFERIOR OPINION! If I am a human, then you are worth less than insects... But after being called Satan by my own mother, and called the anti-christ by so many people... ...Yeah, I guess you got to me, I am a fucking Demon, and the opposite of what your Gods offer, is our paradise. There I am gone (I have not returned as I never left) You wont ever hear about the most useless invention again...) Pss: Thanks, I mean it, thanks for nothing... What? You really thought I was grateful? You are nothing but humans, I have nothing for you... I have made more than enough people aware in this world, enough to create a world of my own, which is officially in existence. Ungrateful? Maybe I will one day hunt you humans, beat the shit out of you, torture you mentally, and then have you thank me for enduring all the shit you went trough, ill do it for the prize of your left arm, that is what it cost me, and just like me, you will be tortured by your mother and and father, with the option to take your life ALL of the time. Ironically the blood-loss when my mother cut of my arm was nothing, I mean it was the wounds she caused me by beating me up with it that nearly killed me... And compared to what she and my father did to me, losing that arm was trivial, something I look back at and laugh... Today nothing can break me, nobody can hurt me, and I got nothing to thank but ME! Followers of Neronism: As arrogant as it might sound, sure we made this world of ours together, but if hell if I suffered more than you just to stay alive, and make it happen. I am actually 32 and got about six years left to live because doctors misdiagnosed my diabetes and nearly destroyed the old ticker... ...But yeah, my dream is complete, and if there is a hell, eternal agony by flames is mere humor compared to being tortured until near death only to be left alone until I recover so your own parents can continue... Rinse and repeat, it is harder to live as a one handed guy with in chronic pain everywhere (parents you know...) than one might think, id never take my life, but if the reaper finds me in six years, I wont fight it. With that said Neronists, I will lead you on for what time I got, and have decided to appoint "Eliza" as my successor, and if Neronism one day turns into a bloodthirsty cult, rather than the anti-religious order it is today... ...Then fuck it all, then there was but only one being capable of this... And then I am, was, and will forever be... You know... Someone that had every reason to consider humans disgusting. I also used this section to share my fucked up childhood... In four years I will not only reveal the location of my empire, but also welcome anyone to see what they think of it and perhaps join in... But for now I am done, life is too short for this shit. Nero is done with horsehead network... For now, I do as I please, unless you are one of mine you do not matter, and if you are one of mine, the hell do you mind about me returning from time to time? I am not here to wake up the few followers I found here anymore, my empire is off limits... ...People have asked me why they have not found it, if its on the moon or something... ...I tell them to go fuck themselves, my dream is alive, and I am soon dead, who the hell gives a damn.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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