My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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im gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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ejaculation JLR

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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3

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops