-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Make me famous

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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I once did something.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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13 =B you just learned something

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Error 37.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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