Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Black people being friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

rarw

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what are three short words? i a am

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

WILLYS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops