what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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