RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Poker face

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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