PENIS :)

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Joesph Triphook.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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