What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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