make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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