Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

what's up? my penis.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

The WNBA is on the cooking channel

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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