Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops