A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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A fat guy!

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Chlamydia

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops