Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops