96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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