What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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