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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

I'm Coming

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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