Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

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your face is kinda funny

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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