A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

69

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

you dint have to be a jew matt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

swag

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

thumb_up thumb_down -11

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops