How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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WNBA

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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girls basketball

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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