Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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