Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Rush Limbaugh

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops