What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops