A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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