ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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