Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Black Man Walks Into an Office For A Job Interview. The Meeting Goes Very And He Soon Has A Very Nice Steady Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops