Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hats better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops