Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

black people

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops