Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops