What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops