How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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A fat guy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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