Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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