Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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