HEY YOU! TISSUE!

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

jim is constantly asking bob the same questions, bob brings this to attention and suggests that jim might have amnesia. jim agrees and they move on iwth the conversation. minutes later jim asks a simaler question brought to attention earlier because he has amnesia

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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