Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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Whats 1+1? window!

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops