vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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The Princess is in another castle

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Your mam is so fat.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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