Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops