What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

Make me famous

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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