A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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