How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops